The Animated "Hobbit" - Wee Frustrations

It ends up that I may have to buy the DVD of 1977's "The Hobbit" by directors Rankin and Bash. You know those guys best as the director of all the seasonal TV specials that first and second grade teachers used to kill time and allow them to zone out until the holiday break.

Thank the gods for the Common Core puzzling all Americans. Teachers need the four hours the old VHS tapes would kill to make sure they can answer all the questions and complaint letters by parents who lost their jobs to imported employees from more educationally sound nations. I am actually surprised that teachers thought dealing with students screaming for them to fast forward through commercials or adjust the tracking on these dubs was better than coming up with lesson plans. At least the tapes kept kids from safety scissor and paste accidents.

Sorry for the little rant, but let me bring it full circle. I actually had a Civics teacher (first year) decide to kill a couple of classes showing "The Hobbit." He may have ran out of stories from his glory days as a Notre Dame (Peoria) wrestler and baseball player. Or, Rankin/Bash is something that all teachers are suppose to familiarize themselves with and show to justify the knowledge. In other words, I need to find out what the code name for this course is.

If I am going back to school next year, I may as well have enough hours from Illinois Central College to claim I have enough for a Bachelor's Degree. This would be like the Bachelor's Degree my dad was given so he would have to enter the draft.

Check out the rest of this review at NinetyForChill.com - A More Acceptable Runtime.

Being a Cubs Fan on a Superstitious Holiday and the Lame Puns that Come with It.

I have 12 minutes to punch out a blog to maintain my streak of writing some kind of journal since I left for Florida at the beginning of the month. This is on Blogger because I had left my journal at home before I came to work. The cat was a little too antsy when I left, so when I realized that I had left it in the apartment, even though I had the time to get it before work, it would have been too much of a hassle.

You add in realizing that my last OSF bill arrived during my week away from Peoria Heights, hence past due when I opened it, you can just call it a typical Friday the 13th. On the plus side, if I would have just given the bill to Dad when I saw him for Fox Trivia Night, I would receive immediate heat for giving him an overdue bill.

I am sure I can budget a late fee. To anyone at OSF who may read this, please mail me the late charge, do not tack it on the next bill. Yes, it may help knock down my deductible for next year, but it would be a pain explaining it to my caring parents.

So we learned my humility is worth 35 to 50 bucks, at least when it comes to my parents.

My phone is currently on the charger, so I am not going to check on my tentative Tinder date until I finish this. At least that way, I am not pressing my luck. It's three till midnight, so I gotta rely on a pun to justify wrapping it up. The only issue is that if I push press publish, I've left my readers with a cliffhanger. That seems appropriate when the date involves My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult. The last pun.

If "Chappie" Didn't Need Guns, Neither Do You

It's kind of a bait and switch title. I'm not going to go onto an anti-gun rant, I'll save my vacation journal for that.

Say what you want about Disney, at least he knew to kept trolls out of his work. In other words, it was not until half way through my stay in Orlando that the goofballs at #gunsense stopped acting like the host of every Fox News Channel show, overwhelming my notifications with constant questions and insults, too many to respond to. But to their credit, at least they gave me something to write about besides myself.

That is why I'm going to write a review for "Chappie" tonight. It keeps my personal, nihilistic ranting to my "Star Wars" themed diary and out of your hair. This way, if I am going to type up a blog, it should have some worth to everyone.

Something else that should be worthwhile to everyone is my project "Main Event of the Dead,"  a screenplay that I am trying to produce. After you have read through my expert analysis of cinema, surely you will think that my zombie pro-wrestling comedy is a sure fire B-movie. If you would like a treatment of the screenplay, just send a request to russthebus07@gmail.com. I also encourage the donation of ideas to promote the project to a crowd-funding stage.

"Chappie: What the Robocop Remake Should Have Been"

South Africa is the last outlaw nation of the English speaking world, but with the constant threats that Donald Trump is using as a base for his presidential campaign, surely the rest of the world will revert to this uncivilized nature if something is not done to enhance law enforcement. The Tetraval Corporation decides to be the world's savior by replacing the police force in Johannesburg with their Scout military robots. Their introduction is greeted with an immediate decrease in violent crimes, but skepticism remains since these machines lack a conscious. Fortunately, there are two engineers who are working to resolve the issue.

The first is Vincent Moore (Hugh Jackman), a former soldier who is developing the Moose, a heavily armored tank with jet propelled legs. This machine is controlled by neural transitions, so the robot is an extension of its human operator. At this time, the mech's operator would be Moore who seems to be becoming less stable as his budget keeps getting diverted to the production of the Scouts.

Moore's perceived competition is Deon Wilson (Dev Patel), the designer of the Scouts. Deon's passion is not the manufacturing of weapons, but the concept of artificial intelligence. He spends nearly all of his free waking hours trying to design the software that can bare consciousness. Eventually, he succeeds with the programming part, but without a body to put this mind into, it may all be for not.

Against CEO Michelle Bradley's (Sigourney Weaver) order to cease his personal project, Deon steals a Scout that is damaged beyond repair to install his operating system into. Since the software creates a blank mind, the designer hopes to teach this scout to be an ideal human being free of vice. Unfortunately, Ninja and Yolandi owe crime boss Hippo 20 million rand. They need something to stop the Scouts from foiling their next heist, so they kidnap Deon. After they find out that Deon cannot shut the Scouts down, they decide they need the stolen bot to fight for them.

Deon does not have the means to reprogram the Scout, so the two gangsters allow him to install his new AI in the robot. It is not the ideal situation for anyone because the robot needs to mature from being a newborn to adulthood before it can be effective in any type of mission. Ninja refuses to allow Deon to nurture the robot Yolandi named Chappie (voiced and performed by Sharlto Copley) and is disgusted by her patience with the machine that needs to become Ganster A-Number-1.

In the meantime, Moore is desperate after the last rejection of the Moose by the JPD, being told that things would need to get a lost worse in Jo-Burg before they would ever buy that machine. Moore determines if he can expose Deon and create some hostile circumstances, he will get the recognition he yearns for. This means Chappie may not get a chance to grow up and realize his importance to humanity's evolution.

That was quite the lengthy synopsis for two-hour film. With the limited time frame for all of it to occur in (not including the rushed concept of salvation), there are a lot of places for "Chappie" to malfunction as a film. Fortunately, Neill Blomkamp displays his resourcefulness as a director to make this film worth the time allotted.

Blomkamp wisely avoids making this story about the chase to grab the rogue robot. He goes out of his way to avoid action sequences until the third act so that we can appreciate the science fiction elements of the story and allowing us to relate to Chappie as a human in every possible way. Having two very inexperience actors in the members of Die Antwood (Ninja and Yolandi) actually work out well. It leaves the impression that everyone who watches the robot grow up (character or audience) understands the frustrations of trying to see a sentient being grow.

The only downfall to the focus on the robot and rappers is that it fails to have a hateable villain. You have two fine actors who can provide this, and you feel like they want to be that, but there is not any space in the run time for them. And if you rent the film for the action and to see Wolverine get truly nasty, you may feel left down by the bait and switch. This make the biggest knock against "Chappie's" is that it is unmarketable.

Chappie is not a wise-cracking action hero. He does his best to stay away from violence. This means he is not Johnny-5 and he is not Murphy. You lose the mainstream audience right there. Now if he was sexy like Ava, we might have something to sell without totally misrepresenting the feature.

"Chappie" is a coming of age story. It is difficult to recall a story like that in the realm of robots that has been adapted for the big screen. God created the "Short Circuit." Peter Weller was under the "Robocop" gear. "Ex Machina" was already intelligent.

You have to be willing to watch the story of a character growing up to possibly enjoy this feature. And since I am tired of seeing "Stand by Me" derivatives, I found "Chappie" to be an enjoyable experience.

Blomkamp is a reliable director who knows when he has a great story. He just likes to sell it with the latest special effects instead of strong acting and standards for use of CG. This director is still growing up and "Chappie" is the appropriate metaphor.

So, as a filmmaker, I need your support on the following, unless you have better publicity stunts.

The "Main Event of the Dead" Test Reel Needs:

• Someone with some makeup or special effects experience.
• The true antagonist of the feature is a woman, so an actress to set up the premise of "Main Event of the Dead."
• Three or four wrestlers to take the finishing moves.
• One or two wrestlers to deliver the moves.
• A wrestling ring with a canvas that can afford to be left a little messy. If we can get extra from the crowd-funding campaign, we'll make replacing it a priority.

Since this is an effort to try and make this feature a reality, I can really only afford to compensate what ever is spent to make this video. I am willing to negotiate terms on what compensation will be for performances before the reel goes online. If whatever raised can cover the compensation agreed to, even if I do not reach the goal to produce the film, compensation will be had.

If you need a treatment of the script for "Main Event of the Dead" please e-mail me at russthebus07@gmail.com.